17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phonejust so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday orSaturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I'd rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear or understand or care about a
word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up
to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers
and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
I love number 26. How many of us, I wonder, have despaired at the driver two cars down who broke ranks and let the bastard in?
ReplyDeleteGreat list overall. I'm still chuckling :).
#30: But... what about when cycling? ;)
ReplyDelete#22: I hate making two trips. Sometimes I have to talk myself out of the crazy that making one trip would be!
Oh so true Jen, that annoys me when someone gives in.
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to have #20 in Cleveland, but then it probably would have said "I'm sorry, you can't get there from here then." I'm not sure there is a part of town that ISN'T ghetto now.
Jen - oh, there's yelling in our car if someone ahead lets the guy in!
ReplyDeleteChris - I think 30 assumes one does not cycle.
Doesn't it seem that when you have your own shopping bags with the longer handles that you should be able to throw them up to your shoulder, and carry a bunch on each arm?
Tam - I'm sure there is still good in Cleveland. Like Darth Vader.
But my shopping bags are really, really sturdy, so I massively overload them..........
ReplyDeleteYet, don't you stand there looking at them, thinking: I can get two on each shoulder, one at each elbow...
ReplyDeleteYup. And that's why I have to take a moment and talk myself out of the crazy sometimes!
ReplyDelete(Chris, all those groceries are about half your body weight and you have to climb two flights of stairs, unlocking two doors en route. WTF are you thinking?! You'll get pissed at yourself if you try to carry them all at once!)
I understand why you're tempted!
ReplyDeleteMy kid is the worst for the shopping bag thing. I'm always "You can make two trips" (all of 15 feet). "No, no, I can do it" carrying 6 bags and a case of soda under one arm.
ReplyDeleteI try to remember those days when I'm hauling in 40-pound bags of softener salt!
ReplyDeleteHeh, 20 lbs of kitty litter, a case of bottled beer, some bags of groceries, my backpack... I can do it... Maybe...
ReplyDeleteJust don't fall backwards - you'd never get up!
ReplyDeleteThat was great, thanks! :)
ReplyDeleteI try, desperately, to get all the bags in one trip. I hate going back and it's only a few feet from the garage to the kitchen. :D
#23, 25 & 26 YES
#32 is so very true. I am expert snooze button pusher.
Lily - I had no idea how universal the grocery bag thing is!
ReplyDeleteI set my clock 30 minutes fast because I use the damn snooze so much!
I only hit the snooze button when I hate the song that is playing. I just lay there or a half hour and listen. I did smack it because there was some commercial with a woman opera singer warbling. Please, at 6:20 that is not welcome.
ReplyDeleteTam - I agree, there is no need for an aria at 6 in the morning! Or those other commercials where the announcer shouts at you.
ReplyDeleteOh, those were awesome! Especially 20 and 23. The only time I don't hit a read light is when I'm trying to email and drive. But if I'm in a hurry...I hit every damn f-cking red light, and get stuck behind the people who clearly have no where they really need to go because they are going 30 on a 45 mph street. LOL
ReplyDeleteMy clock - 15 mins fast and the radio is set in between stations. The god aweful static gets my ass out of bed to the hit the snooze button quicker than anything.
Hi Ava,
ReplyDeleteThere must be a law - when in a hurry, lights turn red.
Good thinking on the alarm. Static - gah!
Oh, 24, 24 -- my downfall.
ReplyDeleteYep, kids are dumbing down.
And bicyclists on streets and highways? SPLAT, fifty points.
I got bored today so I cleaned the family room. And THEN I ate a bowl of cereal.
ReplyDeleteDon't run over Chris!